To be alone does not mean that you don’t have people surrounding you. To be in a big room and feel invisible is how it feels to be alone. To go through the day as a ghost of your shell is how it feels to be alone. Do people see me? No one seems to see me. Silence surrounds me while there is noise in the room. To say that I am within a bubble is an understatement.
People fail to dive deep into the mind of other people for fear of what they may find there. In the shallow end of the pool, your feet will always touch the floor, but many people who are not used to swimming will always stay close to the shallow end for fear of their feet not touching the ground. Why wouldn’t you want to float? We go through life trying to stay afloat anyway. Why not take that chance with another human and float around their mind to see what you find.
You may find that the mind can be a place of self destruction if it is not structured correctly. It can collapse onto itself at any minute if you are not careful. Has my mind collapse which is why people do not want to venture in to it? Is it not safe anymore?
It can be a dangerous place to go, even for me. So I understand the notion.
Therefore, if I’m afraid to go that far into my own mind, why should I expect for someone to do the same?
Perhaps to maybe one day save me from my own mentality. To know that I have an anchor back into the real world if I were to ever drift away, I will feel better rather than wandering as would a ghost with no where to go but to float and to drift. Many times, companionship goes deeper than love. To have a partner that is able to dive into that forbidden room with me to know and to understand its layout, as would I with that person, we will be able to navigate in case things were to go horribly wrong.
But aforementioned, no one is willing to dive that deep into my psyche. Until that time comes where I can maintain a state of stability and calm, I will be in my own little bubble waiting, reaching, and wondering if anyone will find me, grab my by the hand and allow me to navigate through my mind as well as me through theirs.
Because we’re all just manifestations of our mentality anyway. Our Brain is king. Why would it want us to leave?
I don’t want to leave. I just don’t want to be trapped.
Loneliness is a mental state in which you are within the bubble of your mind and you can’t get out. Most is lost in the mind. Perhaps I’m lost too.